Love Letter from my King….Be real with Me

My Princess,

You are precious and beautiful to Me.  You never need to pretend to be something other than who I made you to be.  I don't want you to try to impress Me by pretending that all is perfect in your life.  My love.  I want you to find great freedom in being real with Me.  The more real you become, the better you will relate to others.  No more pretending, My princess.  I love you just the way you are, and I want you to be real with Me in all you do and say.  I gave My life for you so you could live free to be yourself.  Don't let anyone steal your joy by turning you into something fake.  Be true to yourself and be true to Me, because I love the real you.  

Love, 

Your True King

Have you ever opened up to someone and let them in to the real you?  Have you ever felt like you are afraid to show the real you?  Maybe you feel the real you is not that interesting? or not that good?  I have.  I've felt that the real me wouldn't be accepted.  At times I was too nerdy, or too good.  Then it was too social and too wild.  To the point where I didn't think God accepted me as I was.  Even when I met Him, it took me a while to really open up.  It wasn't till I realized how much He really loved me, and that He wasn't going anywhere, that I started opening up.  He is a true friend.  He's not there to point fingers, criticize you or throw things in your face.  He's there to listen, when you are upset or hurt.  He's there to cheer you on, when you achieve something new.  He's there to guide you when you are confused.  He's there to forgive you, when you apologize for the same sin over and over again.  No matter what you do, or don't do He is there.  There is no need to pretend, He knows you more than you know yourself and yet He's still there.  

If today, you find yourself that you haven't been real with God, I invite you to ask God to help you grow to know Him better and feel secure in His love.

Take up your cross and follow me

What does "Take up your cross and follow Me" mean? (Matthew 16:24; Mark 8:34; Luke 9:23)  I know we constantly run into this verse, and often think we know what it means.   The other day I was questioned about it.  I was forced to really think about it.

I've heard people  say different things regarding their cross, like a women in a strained relationship: "My husband is my cross"..lol  Or someone with cancer or a deadly disease, will refer to their condition as their cross.  Or maybe some sort of strenuous situation.  People are willing to carry these "supposed" crosses for the sake of following Jesus.  But is that what Jesus really meant?

Back in the days when Jesus lived here on earth, "the cross" was a symbol of death.  I'm sure if we asked anyone in the first century what the cross represented, they would relate it to --painful humiliating death.  The cross was an execution device.  A device that one would carry to your place of death, and was used for your own crucifixion.  You would carry it, and bear humiliation along the way.  

Maybe Jesus meant something along those lines when He said "carry your cross and follow me"….

Jesus willingly carried His cross.  He bared the humiliation and the pain, til his moment of death.  He did it, because there was a divine purpose for it all.  He knew this was the will of the Father.  Although, it was painful and extremely humiliation, he did it.  He denied Himself.  He surrendered to the will of the Father.  So maybe thats what Jesus is asking of us, when He asks us to carry our cross.  He is telling us that we must be willing to die to self, deny ourselves……and give-in in complete surrender. Jesus said, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will save it. What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, and yet lose or forfeit his very self?” (Luke 9:24-25).

During this lenten season, I ask myself "am I really carrying my cross?".  At time, I must be honest, I am not.  There are times when I put my wants and needs above all else.  I pray that the Lord can help me get to that place of total surrender.  Because I want to follow Jesus.  Jesus is my life, and just as my Savior carried His cross, I want to carry mine.

So I dare you to ask yourself the same.  Here are some questions that might help.   

*  Are you willing to follow Jesus if it means losing some of your closest friends?

*  Are you willing to follow Jesus if it means alienation from your family?

*  Are you willing to follow Jesus if it means the loss of your reputation?

*  Are you willing to follow Jesus if it means losing your job?

*  Are you willing to follow Jesus if it means losing your life?

If today, a group of soldiers showed up at your house, ready to shoot at anyone who claims to be a "follower of Christ".  With a gun to your face, they ask you " Are you a follower of Christ?". What would you respond?

Think about it.

Love Letter from my King…Wait on Me

My Princess…

Wait on Me, My princess.  My timing is always perfect.  I know you're anxious about many things, and I see your passion for all the plans I have put in your heart.  I know that you long to fly, and I see your enthusiasm.  However, just as a vinedresser nurtures the vine and waits patiently for the right moment to harvest the grapes, so too am I working tirelessly to prepare you to bear much fruit.  Don't run ahead of Me or try to fly before My plans are complete.  Your strength will fail you, and your dreams for you are greater than you can dream on your own.  You will run farther and soar higher if you will patiently wait for the season of My blessing.  Draw close to Me now, and I promise that this season of waiting will bring you the sweetest of rewards.

Love, 
Your King and Lord of perfect timing 

This love letter is dedicate to a very dear friend.   She knows who she is.  She is a princess and sometimes forgets.  The Lord is telling you that He has your back.  Just sit back, relax and let Him do His thing.  Many times I've found myself impatient.  But the Lord has always come thru at the perfect time. I've learned that I should just wait.  So I enjoy Him as I wait.  You should do the same.  Love you.

Grouchy Old Man

Today I had an old joke come to mind.  The mass had just finished, and this man (who is fairly new) gets up and rushes out.  I try to make eye contact to say hi.  I wanted to make him feel at home, but he was grumpy.  He ignored me and ran out.  Thats when the joke came to mind.

"There was an old man who went to mass everyday. Never missed the 12pm mass. He was very faithful. There was a homeless lady who was always sitting outside the church, asking for change. She took notice that this man was often grouchy when she asked for him for spare change. First, she blamed it on the age. But one day, she brought up the nerves to ask him. "Sir, I see you come to mass everyday and receive Jesus in the Eucharist. How come you are so cranky and grumpy most of the time?" He laughed and said, "You better thank God that I come everyday, it could be much worst." 

I love that joke. It came at a good time, because I know this man who ran out of mass today will slowly change. I've seen him in mass every morning for the past week or so. It looks like he is trying to be there every day. I'm sure the Lord will slowly work in his life, and put a smile on his face soon. One day I will glance at him and he will reply back with a smile. I believe that.

When I started out in the walk with the Lord, I wasn't how I am now.  I had so many walls and so many insecurities that I didn't allow  myself to get too close to people.  I use to be intimidating, and maybe I still am a little, but not like I use to be.  The Lord has been working that out in my life.   He's been working miracles in my life.  Most of the time, I don't notice them as they are happening.  I remember being a very jealous person before I met the Lord.  And even when I first met my now-husband, I was very much jealous.  I already new the Lord, and knew that jealousy wasn't from God.  Jealousy isn't a characteristic of a christian and it's a sin (1 Corinthians 3:3). But it was part of me, and as much as I tried to change it myself it wasn't happening.  I remember my husband and I getting into arguments about it when we were dating.  My husband is a very popular guy and a leader in the church, naturally at some point he needs to interact with females.  There were instances where I unwillingly portrayed a jealous girlfriend, even when I purposely did everything I could not too.  It was just in me, and it just poured out of my pores.  

One day, I finally started praying about it and offered it to the Lord.  I didn't want to be like that.  Even though I could come up with 500 reasons to grant me the right to be that way, I didn't want to be anything that didn't reflect a christian.  I felt like St. Paul when he said in Romans 7:15 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do."  So I spoke to God and told Him he needed to work on this from the inside out.  I was trying to do everything I could from the outside, but everything in me was working against me.  I prayed, I fasted and offered mass for it.

Time went by, I started to forget about it, as it stopped being a hot topic of conversation.  About two years into my marriage, I opened my eyes and saw all that the Lord had done with me.  I truly felt free from jealousy.  I could leave my husband alone with a lady, or see him talking to women with not feeling anger or competition in my heart.  I didn't worry about what he was doing on his travels.  Who he was talking to?  Who he was with?  Are there women there? Why are they there?  Why can't they leave him alone? Etc....  All those thoughts, and haunting feelings were gone.  I can truly say I don't have that worry anymore.  It was such a relief, and freeing experience.  For me and my husband I'm sure..lol

God did a miracle in my life.  A miracle I will never forget.  Because living with those walls and wounds, made my life miserable.  It affected me, and my relationships.  I am still not perfect.  There are still more things to work on, but I know God will work them out for me.  I just need to be open, and be willing to humble myself to God and realize when I need His help.  

Lent starts tomorrow, and it's a great time to offer these things to God.  As we start letting go of all these worldly things that we carry, we will get closer to God.  And that is what Lent is about.  It's a time to  reflect (pray),  sacrifice (fast),  and prepare our temple for the Spirit of God, the Risen Lord, that will be given to us on Easter.  I pray that we will take this time to reflect on those things that keep us from getting closer to Him, and offer them in prayer.  Offer them as sacrifice.  Lets go against our flesh, and show it who is boss.  Jesus is boss.  If you do it, God will do His job and prepare you for an amazing Easter and everyday there after.  You will be surprised at all the things God can do in your life.   Just as the Lord has slowly changed the old man, and changes me, He will do it in you.  

Jesus my friend

About three weeks ago, I participated in a small servant retreat.  During the moment of reflection, the speaker made us question ourselves.  He asked "Why do you follow Jesus?"  Some people answered "Because He gives me hope", "Because He heals my wounds", "Because he saved me" etc..   Then he asked "Would you still follow Jesus if He didn't give you hope?  Or if he didn't heal your wounds?" and so forth.  I started to formulate answers that would sound good.  But then I started to dig deep inside.  I started to really question myself, and thinking back at my journey thus far.  I reflected on my relationship with Jesus. I realized that maybe 5 years ago, I probably would have answered "No".  Or maybe not...who knows?  But today, I couldn't imagine my life without Jesus.  I've been thru so many different stages, and situations in my life where God has proven to me that He's always there with me.  I've been thru periods where I didn't feel the presence of God, or felt like He wasn't coming thru, and sometimes even questioned God.  I've been upset at God, and fought with HIm.  There were times where everything seemed to be falling apart and I just wanted to say  "the heck with this".  But at the end of the day, He has always showed up at the perfect time.  He showed up to console me, to guide me, or just to listen to me.  He was and is always there.  He has been the one person (being) that I can ALWAYS count on.  Throughout these many instances, and "tests" (sort of speak), I fell in love with Jesus.....True love.  A love that doesn't just go away.  Throughout this seven year journey, Jesus became my friend.  My best friend.  He has proven to me over and over that He truly loves me.  He loves me everyday, in every situation, in every circumstance, no matter what I do, and just as I am. His love didn't end in the cross.  It continues today, in every detail in my life.  

So that day, at that retreat, I came to a conclusion: That not only does Jesus love me, but that I'm truly in love with Him.  So--- Yes!!! I will still follow Jesus.  Not because of what He can give me, but because of who He is.  


I pray that everyone may find true love, just as I did.  I love you Jesus!

"One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple." Psalm 27:4

Letter from my King....Triumph through Trials

My Princess...Triumph through Trials

I see you when you are in the garden of grief, My princess.  I hear you cry for help in he dark hours of the night.  I myself cried out in the garden the night I was betrayed.  In suffering I asked My Father for another way-- a less painful way.  Yet I trusted His will and purpose for my life and knew the ultimate victory was at the cross.  Just as olives must be crushed to make oil, I poured out My life as a love offering for you.  Don't ever doubt that I am with you and that I long to take you to a place of comfort, peace and victory.  Even when you cannot see Me from where you are, I am working on your behalf.  Give to Me the crushing weight of your circumstances, and come to Me in prayer.  When it is time to leave the garden, I will walk with you across the valley and straight to the cross-- your trials will be transformed into triumph.

Love,

Your Savior and your Victor

Wow!  Thank you Lord. I know you are always with me.  And I know you are always working on my behalf.  All these trails and tribulations I've been going thru have a divine purpose.  And I know that just like you, I must carry and live out the cross.  And just like you I will triumph.  I pray that all my brothers and sisters who are also experiencing their trials, can understand this.  It is very easy to give up during tribulations, but it is so much better to just hold on to you.  Trusting in You, is not always easy.   But it is certainly rewarding.  I claim victory.  In Jesus name.  Amen!

Servant Spirit

Often times, I feel overwhelmed and used.  I feel like no one realizes how much I have on my plate, and get upset when they dare demand for more. As I sat in mass today, and Father Larkin read the gospel, something hit home.   I had heard, read this specific scripture many times, but today it spoke to me.  In today's gospel reading James and John ask Jesus to secure them a seat next to Him, when they enter the kingdom.  Jesus replies and tell them that that is not His decision to make, and goes on to say:  "Rather, who ever wishes to be great among you will be your servant; whoever wishes to be first to be first among you will be the slave of all.  For the son of Man did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many." (Mark 10:44-45)

I pride myself in calling myself a worshipper, a christian, a follower of Christ.  Only today, I didn't feel like one.  I realized that I haven't been imitating Christ so much.  And at the end of the day, that is what I'm called to do....Imitate Christ.  Christ had a compassionate, loving, servant spirit.  Although He is God, he still humbled himself, not only by becoming human but by serving us.  He came to serve us.  He wasn't selfish.  He wasn't focused on finishing the days work to go home and relax, or watch TV, or have free time.  He was always focused on His mission.  Ready to serve.  All though He is God, and should have had a train of servants serving Him.  He chose to serve us.  And I question myself, am I really imitating Him, when I get upset?  Am I imitating Him when I complain?  Am I imitating Him when I put my needs ahead of my brothers and sisters?  I think not.  In fact, I ask myself "How dare I complain or expect others to be so considerate of me?  How dare I be so selfish?  When Jesus himself was a servant.  He came down from heaven to serve me, to serve all of us.  How dare I?

As of today, I promise to work on that.  I pray that the Lord guides me, and softens my heart.  To help me, get over myself, and focus on the Kingdom.  He stayed focused and so He earned the ultimate prize.  He is seated at the right hand of the father.  Isn't that what James and John wanted?  A seat of higher position? Yes. And that is what I want to.....Not here on earth, but next to my Father in His kingdom.

Lord, help me stay focused and give me a servant spirit. In Jesus name, I pray.  Amen.

Letter from My King

My Princess.... I have set you apart

I have called you to be set apart, just as I Called those who come before you.  I know this calling will sometimes come with great cost, but the eternal rewards are priceless and beyond comparison.  Just as I did with Queen Esther, I have given you the ability to walk in such a way so all will see that you are divinely Mine.  Some will admire you for your dedication to Me, and some will want you to fail rather than follow your lead.  You may fall because you are not perfect, but your mistakes can be the tutors that make you wiser.  Don't put pressure on yourself to be perfect.  I'm the only one who can perfect you, My princess.  All I ask is that you let Me set you     apart so that I can you use you as my witness for the world to see.

Love, 

Your King who sets you apart

Lord I let you set me apart.  I am set apart for you.  And I confess, I have made mistakes.  I've seen how you've used my mistakes to teach me lessons.  Lessons I will never forget.  Thank you, Lord.  Continue to do your will in me.  I'm yours.

what was I so happy about....

So I'm not sure, what I was so happy about yesterday....just kidding.  My husband is back home...yay!!!  What does that mean?  let see...  constant singing and guitar playing, alot of questions regarding ministry work, more plates to cook and more noise...lol  I'm not sure what it is, but when he's home the kids get out of control.  But one very important thing I haven't mentioned is, I get to attend 9am mass...yay!! I made it today.  It was great.  There is something about going to mass with the same group of people everyday, that makes me feel cozy.  I love it.